The ongoing saga of Russo - International Financier

So, apparently I am now on the list in the great continent of Africa as some kind of international financier. Here is another contact from someone looking for another lucrative business deal.



[20:54] honeymix0071: would u like to work part-time and get paid weekly without affecting your present job?
[20:54] honeymix0071:
[20:54] honeymix0071: hello
[20:54] jarusso: sure
[20:54] jarusso: tell me more!

Ok, now, we all know where this is headed.


[20:55] honeymix0071: I presently run a textile and fabrics firm i inherited from my aged Dad in africa and we need someone to work for the company as a representative/book keeper in the states
[20:55] jarusso: wow, any chance I could get some free shirts out of this deal?
[20:55] honeymix0071: our clients make payments for our supplies every week in form of money orders so we need someone in the states to work as our representative and assist us in processing the payments from our clients and we will pay him weekly salary
[20:56] honeymix0071: u will be paid weekly
[20:56] jarusso: ok, any chance I could get an advance?
[20:56] jarusso: I'm a little strapped rihgt now
[20:56] honeymix0071: ALL U NEED TO DO IS RECEIVE THIS PAYMENTS FROM OUR CLIENTS IN EUROPE & ALSO FROM THE STATES, GET IT CASHED IN UR BANK THEN DEDUCT UR WEEKLY PAY AND FOWARD THE BALANCE TO THE COMPANY DOWN HERE VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER
[20:56] jarusso: ok
[20:57] honeymix0071: SO ALL I NEED IS TO FOWARD UR INFORMATIONS TO OUR CLIENTS IN EUROPE AND THEY ISSUE PAYMENTS IN FORM OF MONEY ORDERS THEN SEND IT TO U VIA MAIL OR COURIER

This must be the "official" nigerian scam artists script here, since she's copied it in verbatim.


[20:57] honeymix0071: i will need ur full name,address and phone number so we can foward it to our clients and they will start making payments to u as the company' representative in the states
[20:58] jarusso: ok
[20:59] honeymix0071: once i have the informatiopn i will foward it to my clients they will issue payments in ur name and foward it to ur address then u get the money orders cahed in ur bank deduct ur 10% weekly pay and send the balance to the company via western union money transfer
[20:59] jarusso: ok Honey, it's ok if I call you that, isn
[20:59] jarusso: isn't it?
[20:59] honeymix0071: ok
[20:59] jarusso: how much will be in these money orders?
[21:00] honeymix0071: 4000 dollars
[21:00] jarusso: wow, so 10% is like, 400, right? I'm not so good with the math
[21:00] jarusso: speaking of which, if I make a mistake on the 10% part, who will let me know?
[21:01] honeymix0071: how do u mean
[21:01] jarusso: right, exactly
[21:02] honeymix0071: what do u mean by
[21:02] honeymix0071: jarusso: speaking of which, if I make a mistake on the 10% part, who will let me know?
[21:02] jarusso: right
[21:02] jarusso: like if I get the percentage wrong
[21:02] jarusso: on the 4000, if I screw up and keep 500, what happens?
[21:03] honeymix0071: you get 400 as ur commison out of 4000
[21:03] jarusso: also, is there chance for advancement?
[21:03] honeymix0071: the feds get involved

Wow, she's threatening me with cops!

[21:03] jarusso: right, but since I am sometimes not so good with the math, if I mistakenly take 500 out of the 4000, what happens
[21:03] jarusso: feds
[21:03] jarusso: what do you mean?
[21:04] honeymix0071: so its good we reach a comprimise b/4 we go on
[21:04] honeymix0071: authority
[21:04] jarusso: authority --- huh?
[21:04] honeymix0071: yeh
[21:04] jarusso: do we have to pay them too?
[21:04] jarusso: this is getting complicated
[21:05] honeymix0071: nope they are there in case someone try to be smart thats all
[21:05] jarusso: we should all try to be smart, right?
[21:05] jarusso: or maybe I don't understand what you mean?
[21:06] honeymix0071: when someone try s to get away with our money thats it
[21:06] jarusso: Look Honey, you seem like a nice person, I'm just trying to get this thing figured out in my head
[21:06] honeymix0071: and i know u not gonna do such right??
[21:06] jarusso: oh, so when you send me the money, sometimes there's people who try to steal it?
[21:06] jarusso: I won't steal it....you know me better than that Honey
[21:07] jarusso: do I need to get a gun or something for protection?
[21:07] honeymix0071: yeh thats what i mean
[21:07] honeymix0071: ohh why a gun
[21:07] jarusso: to keep those bad people who are trying to steal your money away
[21:07] honeymix0071: its just a clean heart that u need
[21:08] jarusso: funny you should mention my heart, my doctor wants me to cut down on the butter and fried foods
[21:08] honeymix0071: so are u ok with the 10% or not??
[21:08] jarusso: well, is there any chance of advancement?
[21:08] jarusso: you know, like I get to be a big boss?
[21:09] jarusso: also, what about the free shirts from your Dad's fabric firm, when do I get those?
[21:09] honeymix0071: nope
[21:09] jarusso: I wear a large, or x-large, depending on the fit...I like things to be a little loose, drapes nicer that way
[21:09] honeymix0071: we work that out

Hey, I am making some headway on those shirts!

[21:09] honeymix0071: ok
[21:09] jarusso: ok, cool
[21:10] jarusso: so how is your aged Dad doing?
[21:10] honeymix0071: cool
[21:10] honeymix0071: geetin better
[21:10] jarusso: glad to hear it!
[21:10] honeymix0071: so are u working?
[21:10] jarusso: sometimes
[21:11] honeymix0071: what do u do
[21:11] jarusso: work
[21:11] honeymix0071: what kind of work
[21:11] jarusso: when I cash these money orders, how will you tell me my income tax information?
[21:11] jarusso: do I get a 1099-DIV or something?
[21:11] honeymix0071: nope
[21:12] honeymix0071: all that has been taken care of by our client
[21:12] jarusso: ok, this must be one of those "fast-track" deals
[21:12] jarusso: wow, that's a really great client you've got, they've thought of everything
[21:12] honeymix0071: once u get it cashed remove ur commision and send the rest via western union thats all
[21:12] jarusso: ok
[21:12] jarusso: where do I send it?
[21:13] honeymix0071: and u will receive the payments 3trice a month
[21:13] honeymix0071: do u have a bank account??
[21:13] jarusso: I've never used Western Union
[21:13] jarusso: is it a box or something?
[21:13] jarusso: what is 3trice?
[21:14] honeymix0071: ok
[21:14] honeymix0071: 3 times in a month
[21:14] jarusso: ok
[21:14] jarusso: so they come in the mail?
[21:14] honeymix0071: yes
[21:14] jarusso: ok
[21:14] jarusso: so where do I send the money?
[21:15] honeymix0071: do u have a bank account
[21:15] jarusso: are the people who steal the money going to be at my mail box?
[21:15] honeymix0071: nope
[21:15] jarusso: do I need to get some kind of secure mail box for this?
[21:15] honeymix0071: not thats
[21:15] jarusso: ok
[21:15] honeymix0071: it will be deliverd to ur door house
[21:15] jarusso: you can never be sure, I want you to know you are not working with some idiot here - I think of everything
[21:16] jarusso: door house?
[21:16] jarusso: what is a door house?
[21:16] honeymix0071: deliverd at home that what i mean
[21:16] jarusso: ok
[21:16] jarusso: by the mailman
[21:16] honeymix0071: yes
[21:16] jarusso: err, I mean mail-person - they get really sensitive about that kind of thing
[21:17] jarusso: ok
[21:17] jarusso: do I need to pay the mail-person?
[21:17] honeymix0071: nope
[21:17] jarusso: what about FICA?
[21:17] jarusso: is there a 401k with this?
[21:17] honeymix0071: all that has been taken care of
[21:18] honeymix0071: all what u do is just sigh for it and they will hand it over to u that ll
[21:18] jarusso: Honey, I hope your Dad knows how great a business person you are, you really have your act together, go girl!
[21:18] honeymix0071: ty

Hey, a little kissing up goes a long way in business deals.


[21:18] jarusso: ok, so I have to be there to sign for it
[21:18] jarusso: what if I am not there?
[21:18] jarusso: see, I think of everything
[21:19] honeymix0071: if there is a signature waver on it they will deliver it to anybody they meet at ur home
[21:20] jarusso: anybody they meet - yikes - so that's how it gets stolen...ok, I guess I will have to account for that
[21:20] jarusso: good thinking Honey
[21:20] honeymix0071: do u stay alone??
[21:21] jarusso: well, I am a little embarrassed to tell you this Honey
[21:21] honeymix0071: what/
[21:21] jarusso: but, since we know each other so well, I guess it's ok
[21:21] jarusso: sometimes, I get lucky with the ladies, and they stay over at my place
[21:21] honeymix0071: uhh
[21:21] honeymix0071: thats cool
[21:22] jarusso: I hope this doesn't mess my chances with you
[21:22] honeymix0071: how old are u if i may ask??
[21:22] jarusso: you may ask
[21:22] honeymix0071: not at all
[21:22] jarusso: I am 39
[21:22] honeymix0071: ok
[21:22] honeymix0071: still single?
[21:22] honeymix0071: lol

I guess Honey is having a little fun on my account now.


[21:22] jarusso: how about you honey, how old are you?
[21:22] honeymix0071: am 28
[21:22] jarusso: well, I have a bunch of different ladies that stay over
[21:23] honeymix0071: ok
[21:23] jarusso: how do you do with the men?
[21:23] honeymix0071: so can i have ur information now
[21:23] honeymix0071: business b/4 pleasure
[21:23] jarusso: I'm giving it to you Honey
[21:23] honeymix0071: ok
[21:23] jarusso: Honey, you do your Dad proud!
[21:23] jarusso: is that something he taught you?
[21:24] honeymix0071: sure
[21:24] honeymix0071: to be strong
[21:24] jarusso: well, I am the right man for the job
[21:24] jarusso: so how did you hear about me?
[21:24] jarusso: was it my buddy, Steve?
[21:25] honeymix0071: so what name should be on it?
[21:26] honeymix0071:
[21:26] jarusso: Robert Mueller

FBI Director

[21:26] honeymix0071: ok
[21:26] honeymix0071: address
[21:26] jarusso: 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

The Headquarters for, you guessed it, the FBI.

[21:27] jarusso: ok
[21:27] honeymix0071: phone number
[21:27] jarusso: when do I get the first check?
[21:27] honeymix0071: by next week
[21:28] jarusso: 202-324-3000
[21:28] jarusso: good, I need to get my garage door fixed, but you probably know about that from Steve

You'll remember Steve, Dr Steven Attah, from my last foray into international finance.

[21:28] jarusso: hey Honey, do you ever date outside of your nation?
[21:29] honeymix0071: nope i dont know steve
[21:29] jarusso: ok
[21:29] honeymix0071: who is steve
[21:29] jarusso: I thought you talked with him, he claims to be a doctor
[21:29] honeymix0071: how do u mean??
[21:30] jarusso: he calls himself, get this, "Dr. Steven"
[21:30] jarusso: steven, what the hell is up with that?
[21:30] jarusso: hey Honey, I gotta go talk to my friend here
[21:30] jarusso: I will be right back, ok Honey?

And that brings us to the end of another dealing in international commerce.

Russo - International Financier

Recently, I was contacted through a popular IM for an exciting business deal. Here is the transcript of this chat.

[19:13] drsteven_attah: hello
[19:13] jarusso: hello
[19:14] drsteven_attah: how r u?
[19:14] jarusso: well, and you?
[19:14] drsteven_attah: i’m fine
[19:14] drsteven_attah: where r u from?
[19:14] jarusso: I am in Westford MA
[19:14] jarusso: you?
[19:14] drsteven_attah: Africa,Ng

at this point, I know the scam....

[19:14] jarusso: wow
[19:14] jarusso: cool
[19:15] jarusso: what prompted you to contact me?
[19:15] drsteven_attah: business
[19:15] jarusso: what business?
[19:15] drsteven_attah: partnership
[19:15] jarusso: interesting
[19:16] drsteven_attah: kind of
[19:16] drsteven_attah: we want to export crude oil abroad
[19:16] drsteven_attah: but need a foreign partnership
[19:16] jarusso: ok
[19:17] drsteven_attah: r u intrested?
[19:18] jarusso: sure, I always am open to complete strangers with too good to be true tales of untold riches and wealth, with little or no effort on my part
[19:18] drsteven_attah: i don’t understand
[19:18] jarusso: what?
[19:19] drsteven_attah: I mean r intrested to go partnership with us in this business?
[19:19] jarusso: I answered that already
[19:20] drsteven_attah: ok can u give me ur phone number so that we can discuss this one on one?
[19:21] jarusso: sure, maybe you’d like my bank account and credit card info too
[19:21] drsteven_attah: what r u really talking about
[19:21] drsteven_attah: please don’t think i’m one of those internet scammers
[19:22] drsteven_attah: I am here for real business and not for a joke
[19:22] jarusso: sure
[19:22] drsteven_attah: so if u r really intersted then lets get down to bsuiness
[19:22] jarusso: ok
[19:22] drsteven_attah: or else let me look for another partner
[19:23] jarusso: ok

so now, I am going to play along, I give him the # for the FBI in Washington

[19:23] jarusso: you want my number
[19:23] drsteven_attah: yes
[19:23] jarusso: 202-324-3000
[19:23] drsteven_attah: ok
[19:24] drsteven_attah: I will call u now
[19:24] jarusso: great, ask for Robert Mueller
[19:24] drsteven_attah: ok
[19:25] drsteven_attah: I tried calling the number but it’s given me a busy tone
[19:25] jarusso: well, try again, it is often busy here...
[19:26] drsteven_attah: this is my 4time
[19:26] drsteven_attah: can u call me?
[19:26] jarusso: no, cannot make long distance calls here
[19:27] jarusso: try this one, 617-742-5533

another FBI number, this time in Boston

[19:28] drsteven_attah: this is an american number
[19:28] drsteven_attah: I thought u said u r in uk
[19:28] jarusso: no
[19:28] jarusso: Westford, MA
[19:28] jarusso: it’s in the USA
[19:28] drsteven_attah: oh ic
[19:28] drsteven_attah: it’s that ur mobile number?
[19:29] jarusso: no
[19:29] drsteven_attah: ok
[19:29] drsteven_attah: r u in the office right now?
[19:29] jarusso: yes
[19:29] drsteven_attah: what do u do?
[19:29] jarusso: office work, are you calling?
[19:29] drsteven_attah: I’m trying it now
[19:30] drsteven_attah: but it seems the fault is from my own end
[19:30] jarusso: do you know how to use a phone?
[19:30] drsteven_attah: yes I do
[19:30] jarusso: well, that appears to be in question
[19:32] drsteven_attah: so since the call is not going through
[19:32] drsteven_attah: can we discuss the business here?
[19:32] jarusso: whatever
[19:33] drsteven_attah: ok
[19:33] drsteven_attah: what we really want to do is to export crude oil abroad
[19:34] jarusso: what do you need ?trucks, tankers, pipeline?
[19:34] drsteven_attah: but b4 the govt can grant us the lincence to do that we must present a foreigner as our partner
[19:34] jarusso: hoses, filters, gaskets?
[19:34] jarusso: ok
[19:34] jarusso: so tell’em I’m working with you
[19:35] jarusso: they can reach me here
[19:35] drsteven_attah: we need ur full information to make the application
[19:35] jarusso: like what?
[19:35] jarusso: I’m 5’9”, brown hair, scar on my left side, about 1 inch long
[19:35] drsteven_attah: ur full names and address
[19:35] jarusso: I just have one name, not names
[19:35] drsteven_attah: ur tel number and fax
[19:35] jarusso: I already gave that to you
[19:35] jarusso: I have no fax here
[19:36] drsteven_attah: ur bank name and address
[19:36] drsteven_attah: and ur account number
[19:36] jarusso: I don’t use a bank
[19:36] drsteven_attah: also ur drivers licence
[19:36] drsteven_attah: a copy
[19:36] jarusso: I don’t drive
[19:37] jarusso: so it looks like you’ve got my info, what’s the hold up?
[19:37] jarusso: when will these government people contact me?
[19:37] jarusso: I am going to bed soon, tell them to call soon
[19:38] jarusso: what are you a doctor of? medicine?
[19:39] jarusso: hey steve, you still there?
[19:39] jarusso: how much do I get, money wise?
[19:44] drsteven_attah: r u sure u r intrested in this business?
[19:45] jarusso: absolutely
[19:45] jarusso: what kind of money are we talking here?
[19:45] drsteven_attah: but u don’t sound it
[19:46] jarusso: there is no sound here in the IM space....
[19:46] jarusso: I am all for it, what more can I say—so what is my share of the wealth?
[19:46] drsteven_attah: ok what is ur email let me send u the details?
[19:47] jarusso: can you tell me here what kind of money I would get?
[19:48] jarusso: come on steve, I think you know me well enough by now
[19:48] drsteven_attah: that is what exactly I want to send to u through email
[19:48] jarusso: just send it here
[19:48] jarusso: am I expected to get hundreds?thousands?
[19:48] jarusso: my garage door is broken, so a couple of hundred would do the trick to fix it...
[19:49] drsteven_attah: u r getting 10% of a $10m USD
[19:49] jarusso: so like, one million dollars?
[19:49] drsteven_attah: ya
[19:49] jarusso: nice
[19:49] jarusso: in one payment?
[19:49] jarusso: can you tell me the income tax implications of this?
[19:50] jarusso: or would this fall under investment taxes?
[19:50] drsteven_attah: that is why I want to send u the details in email
[19:50] jarusso: would you pay it as a dividend?
[19:50] drsteven_attah: for ur understanding
[19:50] jarusso: I like being able to ask you questions...it’s more personal
[19:51] jarusso: I like chatting with you, we should have a drink together, you know, make the bond between us stronger
[19:51] jarusso: do you have the 10 million now?
[19:51] drsteven_attah: :))
[19:51] jarusso: what’s that?
[19:51] drsteven_attah: u r so funny
[19:52] drsteven_attah: I am offering a very good business and u r making fun of it
[19:52] jarusso: no, I’m not
[19:52] jarusso: I’m serious
[19:52] drsteven_attah: I will have to look for a gentleman then
[19:52] drsteven_attah: I can see u r not a gentleman
[19:52] jarusso: sure I am
[19:52] jarusso: ask any of my friends
[19:52] drsteven_attah: Have a wonderful day my good friend
[19:53] jarusso: especially the ladies, if you know what I mean
[19:53] drsteven_attah: it’s been nice haveing fun with u
[19:53] drsteven_attah: bye
[19:53] jarusso: hey steve, that’s not nice, I think you are not being the gentleman here
[19:53] drsteven_attah: I know what is wrong with u
[19:54] jarusso: you know about my back?
[19:54] jarusso: it hurts like hell all the time
[19:54] jarusso: my doctor does nothing to help it
[19:54] jarusso: no pills, no surgery
[19:55] jarusso: Hey steve, I really could use that million
[19:55] jarusso: don’t go away
[19:57] jarusso: very bad form steve
[19:57] jarusso: you know, in business word of mouth is very important, and this is not good
[19:58] jarusso: when my friends ask me about Dr. Steve Attah, do you want me to tell them you just threw me aside?
[19:58] jarusso: Come on steve, I don’t think you want that

The end?